When you experience a loss of any kind, healing normally takes place between 3 to 6 months. But given your childhood history and the reactivation of old traumas, it may take longer in your case. You need to be with an experienced psychotherapist, who will help you work through your grief and come to terms with it.
It’s also possible that you are clinically depressed, and may need the guidance of a psychiatrist. Since therapy alone does not seem to be working, it may be good idea to consult a psychiatrist and take antidepressant medicines as prescribed by her/him.
